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I’ve spent the past few years thinking a LOT about what it means to be a badass online entrepreneur while working on myself to become one.🪄☠️
It’s my BIG DREAM to not only BE a badass and overcome my ”ugly duckling” fears and impostor syndrome but to help like-minded unconventional women and gender-diverse creatives do the same.
Because I’d rather be a thriving entrepreneurial swan and get over all my fears than be just a black sheep in my life!
Ok, WOW, so that’s a lot of FARM ANIMAL references, hey? 😂
But I haven’t mentioned my favorite farm animal reference yet, which is to help creatives BREAK FROM THE HERD! 🐄🐄🐄
To live an alternative lifestyle following your own values, and to be extraordinarily self-reliant and financially free so we can leave toxic jobs or relationships to go travel the world whenever we please.
And we can’t do that if we’re not confident badasses, right?😉
So let me share with you what I’ve learned about badass women and confidence – what defines them, drives them, and their bada$$ secrets.
Defining BADA$$ Women And Confidence
To me, ”badass” means personal, INTERNAL power above all.
It’s LESS about standing out above other people like you’re hot shit and MORE about facing down your OWN INNER limitations.✨
A bada$$ IMHO is a self-reliant, feminist, financially independent woman who learned to get TF outta her own damn way.
She never binges out on a whole bottle of Shiraz after a ”perfect” week of low-carb intermittent fasting and workouts.🙄
Or wait until the last minute to do boring work in her business, like reports and bookkeeping. 🥱
No, she does EVERYTHING she plans to do without any mental garbage getting in her way.💩
And once she’s done that, she can do just about anything and everything. ✨
Badass women don’t WAIT AROUND to get ”in the mood” for confidence.
Let’s get one thing straight: Confidence doesn’t magically appear out of nowhere like a fairy godmother waving a wand. 🪄☠️
Nope, it’s earned.
Often after you’ve made the moves to go out and GET IT, and seen the results.
Some of my marketing mentorship clients come to me saying they feel STUCK like they’ve hit a wall…
They usually think they need to “get their confidence back” as if it’s a lost pair of keys or a misplaced wallet.
But here’s the truth bomb: 💣
Confidence isn’t something you just conjure up on a whim. 🪄
There are two types of confidence. You need BOTH to be a BADASS.
The first is the confidence of deep self-trust.
Let’s call it ”cygnet confidence” because it’s that stage where we flap our little ugly duckling wings in the water to learn to swim. 🪄🥚💫🐣
More often than not, it’s not a lack of information or resources that prevents women and gender-diverse creatives from gaining a sustainable income with their side hustle or online business.
In fact, it’s the overwhelming abundance of information and resources that we have that keep us feeling like we’re drowning when we’re flappy little cygnets.
We don’t know what direction to take or how to get started.
No, it’s that cygnets do not trust what they already know and who they already are to make the magic happen.
Your magic is always within you.
You already have all that you need to go after your big dream – you just lack self-trust to go for it.
In my own business, it took my YEARS to gain self-trust and just DO the work instead of ”waiting to be ready” to do it.
There was a point where I had to STOP constantly consuming digital courses, blogs, YouTube videos, and podcast episodes and just DO THE DAMN WORK.
Trusting yourself enough to not ”refer” back to what you studied is a skill in itself. You have to learn how to shift from a consuming/learning/studying mode into a creator mode because it doesn’t come naturally.
None of it is natural – it’s all new skills, new challenges, new ugly duckling fears.
And that is exactly where hiring a mentor may help; someone who has already swum across the pond knows the way, and can tell you how to paddle and stay on course.
But at a certain point, you have to embrace a sense that you CAN handle the epic journey.
You CAN do it.💪
I often love to repeat the phrase, ”If she can do it, so can I.”
And part of what that mental shift requires is to stop putting any other human being on a pedestal and realize they had to do this same cygnet confidence work to become the badass that you see them as now.
You have to believe you are capable of something with zero evidence that you are capable of it.
Gaining self-trust then, is taking a leap of faith. Making a bet on yourself.
It’s belief without any external evidence.
It’s knowing that deep down, no matter what, you’re going to be just fine whether you win or lose because you’re taking enough action to eventually get the result that you want.
Once you begin to TRUST your inner badass self, then you can start kicking life’s ASS.
The second type of confidence is the confidence we can begin to project outwardly onto the world – ”Swan confidence.” 🪄🦢
These are the badass women who seem to swim through life (or dance if you’re into ballet!)🩰
Swan confidence kicks in after you’ve crushed it so many times that you can’t help but feel like a total badass.
You’ve busted through your inner blocks and reached enough goals to know you can win more if you keep going.
That’s true power.
But here’s the kicker: Swan confidence doesn’t show up first to lead the charge as soon as you begin trusting yourself.
Nope, you still need one critical thing: courage.
Courage is what makes you take ACTION on your faith.
But I believe we underestimate what courage actually is…
We tend to think of courage in the context of fearing big things like public speaking, doing a LIVE Facebook video, or closing a sales call.
Yet day-to-day courage is far less dramatic: the courage to disappoint friends when you turn down invitations to work on a project, for example.
Or for mums, to put their children in daycare an additional day of every week without feeling any guilt.
It takes courage to invest in expensive monthly software that feels as complex as learning German!
But the only way to strengthen courage is to face both our biggest fears and our tiniest discomforts, as often as we can.
You can’t afford to wait for the magical day you suddenly feel fearless and invincible.
Becoming a badass is about taking action before you ”feel ready.”
Badass Women and Confidence: The Checklist & Examples✔️
She…
Has integrity. She does what she says she will do. For example, she doesn’t automatically respond to invitations or say ”yes” to people. She takes her schedule very seriously and will check it first, then commit to what is planned.
Is disciplined. She has learned to override impulses and is able to keep her brain FOCUSED. Even if she thinks she might have ADHD and discipline feels hard. She uses her creativity to come up with strategies to work with everything she can learn about her brain. For example, using gamification as your primary motivational strategy.
She achieves her goals. She is above all, a DOER. She’s always DOING amazing shit. For example, she may start with small goals but she learns how to consistently smash them until she can make them bigger and bigger.
Is a FEMINIST. This one is huge because so often the conversation around women and confidence is that women just need to work on themselves when they are in a male-dominated space. Badass women recognise misogyny when they see it. They aren’t convinced that it’s all about their needing to speak up, talk a deeper tone of voice, or be more ”confidently aggressive” like some men. Fuck that.
Doesn’t Give A FUCK. And Finally, badass women don’t give a fuck. They believe in themselves enough to not care what other people that they don’t care about think of them. For example, when Evangelical Christians accuse them of being ”demonic” for being goth or into witchcraft. (Not that I would know.😅) They have a limited number of fucks to give to the people and things they care about most and the rest of the chaos outside that circle is not worth their attention or energy.
Ready to craft a Hexotic AF bada$$ alternative lifestyle? 🪄☠️
So, speaking of women and confidence and not giving AF…
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It’s a 10-email sequence covering one BADA$$ woman from herstory.
We look at what makes her a badass and what we can learn from her.
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